Saying Goodbye to the Philosopher

I think that I have made a personal record...After 3 months of dating, my relationship with the philosopher has ended.  This is actually the shortest that I have ever dated anyone, with 6 months being the shortest before this.  I think that the amazing thing is that I'm largely ok with this development, in part because I had an inkling that this might happen a couple of weeks ago, and in part because the Lord has given me a lot of peace leading up to this.  I'm still processing it, but I'm at a really good place in my life--I have a job that I love, a parish that is downright awesome, and a new town to learn about and explore.

One of the flowers blooming around campus at my new job.  I look forward to the fall colors.  I also look forward to the spring when more plants will be blooming!

God used the Philosopher to get me out of my comfort zone back home and bring me to here to a better job and and an awesome parish.  I can only be thankful for that.  I don't regret the move, and honestly, I don't regret my behavior during our relationship.  I conducted myself to the best of my ability in a Godly fashion, not without struggle, but with integrity.  I hope that he can say the same.

So, my job for the next few months will be putting down roots where I am, and following where ever the Lord may lead...Right before I came here, I started a new journal, and decided that I needed to make my theme to be "Putting down roots."  I actually had the perfect journal to use for that theme, as well.

My current Journal.

I had already started doing so before the break-up, but now it starts in earnest.  I now have an hour scheduled for weekly Adoration at my parish, and will begin teaching CCD classes this coming Wednesday...I'm co-teaching the 6th grade boys, so please pray for me!!!  I hope to go dancing tonight at the local country-western hot-spot, and am finding my way around pretty well.  I also plan to go for a bike ride just for the fun of it this afternoon--something I haven't done since I was a kid exploring my neighborhood!  Just as I did before I started dating, I plan to enjoy being single--spend time with friends, exercise, work, and grow.  Yes, it can be lonely, but I'm learning that, when you take it to Christ, that loneliness becomes solitude--it is all a matter of perspective.  

This is my favorite Superbowl commercial ever--it seems to best illustrate the following poem!

Tilting at Windmills

Loss of sleep feeds my melancholy

A voracious monster who

Sucks at my marrow with abandon

The unknown will be known

And he is poised for another feast

His utensils gleam, napkin beneath the chin

This outcome might bring sorrow

A slow drip of nectar or a 

Great 10 course dinner--I know not which

One thing is certain: Melancholy's glut

Will be his downfall.

Like an illusion, he transforms

Prayer and gratitude diminish him

And the monster morphs--

Shadows dissipated, he is a pesky mosquito

Defeated with a timely swat.

(sorry this isn't a sonnet--hopefully next week!)

No Sonnet today, but...

So, I've dropped the ball this week and didn't write a sonnet.  However, I did write some other poetry, so I will share one with you in lieu of the sonnet for Sonnet Saturday.

I might have some big news in the near future, so I'm kind of waiting until I get confirmation before writing a regular blog post. :-)

The Blank Page

It has possibilities
And curiosity wells
Within me, for it never
Ends as I begin.

Emotions peter out with
Writing, replaced by gentler
Iterations: clarified
Like heat works butter

A catalyst, self-renewed
With a flip or a scribble,
So long as the notebook remains:
She calls me, "Create!"

Such siren songs require my
Undivided attention
And compels me with love's strength--
A dreamer's playground.

Transformed and Transforming, I
seek what is no more, what was.
Possible, now verity
Not blank--Works of art!

Sonnet Saturday (#3)-- Forgiveness

So, because of travelling for work and just life in general, I didn't write a sonnet for last week, but I did for this week, so here it is.  Once I have the Elizabethan Sonnet down, I think I want to try some of the other sonnet forms.  One step at a time, though!

Forgiveness (Sonnet #3)

Egg shells, apple cores, coffee grinds, and more

In a heap, smelling vaguely like old socks.

Time to turn this pile gardeners adore:

Discards and trash morphed into seeds' toy box.

Not everything belongs in this treasure.

No matter the size, rocks will not crumble

Through heat, bacteria, and time's measure:

Nature's intransigence makes one humble.

They go elsewhere to confine, to create--

A seat, a bridge, or simple stepping stone.

They may not foster growth, but fascinate

The eye, the heart, the vista when not thrown.

Like compost, we forgive to readjust

And nourish the soil that grows mutual trust.

We had bins like this for compost near the greenhouses for my Horticulture class in High School. Too bad I have a black thumb of death!

Sonnet Saturday (sonnet #2)

I'm really liking working within the framework of a Sonnet, so I'm going to try to write a sonnet a week for a while, and will post them on Saturdays.  It just seemed appropriate. :-)

There is a story behind this particular sonnet, and it all began with a discussion about the lenten reflection by Father Barron on Rose windows.  As we were talking about it, both my sister and I were talking about how God seems to be in the process of rearranging us and our priorities.  As I reflected on it that night as I was trying to sleep, the last line of the poem came to me, and I just had to finish it out.

The Rose Window (Sonnet #2)

He searches the debris with studied care

A little red here, that small shard of blue

And snatches each fraction with Love's bright flare.

Others He passes, darkened hues untrue.

Shattered, I survey the scattered ruins

Even as He picks through colored scraps.

My pride seeks full redress in illusion,

Not aware jilted flaws will cause relapse.

He smiles at my folly, still searching through

The fragments of my plans, hopes, wishes, dreams.

His hands never waver--His stance shifts the view--

And points to the specimen he redeems.

The partial rose window hold me en masse:

We shall be God's masterpiece in stained glass.

One of the main Rose windows in the Cathedral in Leon, Spain.