Breaking the 180 barrier (PHFR#10)

Monday morning was the first time I have weighed under 180 lbs. in a really long time.  I was kind of expecting to not keep the weight off, since Sunday was one of those weird food days when you end up accidentally missing a meal or two.  Amazingly, I'm still under 180 lbs, for which I'm really thankful. It also makes me

Happy

177.8 lbs.  This dress is actually a little loose, and only another 5 lbs until my next stitch fix box!

I'm also really happy that I'm doing well at sticking with the GAPS diet.  I tried another new recipe this past weekend, and am glad I did: Parsnip Fries.  Of course, after I made them, I realized that it actually wasn't GAPS legal, so I'm thinking of trying this with carrots instead of parsnips as some point. As an added bonus, you can actually buy carrot sticks already cut up, so the prep time would be way shorter!

They got a little brown...but the ones that aren't burnt tasted really good!

I followed the recipe, but the fries ended up burning.  I'm wondering if the size of my oven has something to do with that--I have an apartment size stove, so the half-sheet pictured is the largest cookie sheet that will fit in my oven (there is less than a half inch left of space all the way around).  I'm wondering if having the sides of the oven so close to your baking dish make the cooking go quicker.  Or, maybe it is just that my knife skills aren't uniform enough.

Yep, this is my oven. Cute, isn't it?

I've about come to the conclusion that I really need to take some cooking classes so that I can be better at the prep part of cooking.  I have a pretty good handle on what spices and flavors go together, although I tend to be a little boring in that department, but uniform cutting and presentation are not my strong suit.

I'll never compete for one of those cooking shows, but I would like to make the process of cooking less tedious, and I think knowing some of the prep skills would be helpful.

Pretty

So, the evening of the Parsnip Fries, we bought a rotisserie chicken for dinner, and added some leftover butternut squash.  I have to say that the picture of dinner is definitely close to food porn.  I don't think I've ever been that good at taking a picture of dinner before. Maybe it is because I'm actually using my camera instead of the camera on my phone.

See the steam rising from dinner?

One of the other things I'm currently working on is adding more liquids to my diet--my real problem is that I don't particularly like drinking plain water.  This is why I usually resort to drinking carbonated or mineral water most of the time.  However, I'm also trying to economize on my grocery bill, so I've been looking for ways to do so.  Here is my solution:

Cucumbers!

I'm liking the taste, and, since I have the reusable aluminum bottles from when I worked at UTEP, I didn't have to make any kind of investment to create this solution.  I just have to be careful, because, when I drink from them in class, I'm incredibly tempted to crunch on the cucumbers while I'm teaching!

Funny

The weather has been BEAUTIFUL this last week, and it is fun to watch everything bloom.  In an effort to lower utility bills, we have been opening windows and turning on ceiling fans in an effort to refrain from turning on the A/C just yet.  The dogs are taking it in stride, although they will sometimes peer through the windows of the screen doors.  

Even though it is getting warmer, they are still vying for who gets to snooze on the quilt I'm working on, though.  I'm going to have to start another quilt immediately after this one is done in order for them to continue to have a place to sleep!

Ha-Ha, Bubba.  It is my turn!

Real

One of the side-effects of moving to central TX and all of the wonderful, glorious green is that I'm really struggling with allergies.  I've been told by both my dr. and several friends that this area is notorious for being bad for people with allergies--we are in the middle of a valley, so pollen blows in, but it doesn't really blow out.  Since coming back from Christmas in the desert, I have had 2 rounds of antibiotics for bronchitis, and I'm currently on steroids.  I'm really hoping that the steroids help...otherwise, I may have to do antibiotics as well.  

I'm thinking that opening windows is not the best way to economize.

I'm also starting to realize that, when you don't like fish and you can't do dairy, figuring out what to eat for Fridays in lent is a struggle....I did curried lentil soup last week, and will be making meatless split peas this week, but I'm running out of ideas for what to eat.  I have a feeling that at least part of my weekend will be used to look for some interesting vegetarian recipes.

Split peas soaking so that I can throw them in the crock-pot tomorrow.

Lastly, one of the easiest breakfasts on the GAPS diet is eggs: fried eggs, scrambled eggs, veggie frittatas, etc.  I may become an egg if I eat very many more of them!  So, today, I had a bowl of fresh strawberries for breakfast.  They tasted really good, but they didn't stick with me for very long.  I was already feeling hungry again by the time I had been at work for 30 minutes.  So, I'm going to need to think of something else to have for breakfast, or at least think of some sort of supplement to fresh fruit.

Any ideas are welcome!

Breakfast this morning.  I love the contrast of the blue with the red of the strawberries.

How are you capturing contentment in your everyday life?  Please link up with Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Sandal Weather!!! (PHFR#7)

Happy/Pretty

Part of the fun of living in Texas is that it means sandal weather tends to come early.  The days have been nice enough these last few days that I've worn my sandals a couple of days in a row.  Once it is sandal weather, I tend to wear sandals non-stop until it is no longer sandal weather, so this makes me incredibly happy.

I'm not sure they match my outfit, but I love being able to wear sandals!!! It is probably time for me to paint the toe-nails so they aren't naked.

Another pleasant surprise this week was that some flowers started blooming in front of my house.  I didn't even know that the bulbs were there, so when they started sprouting and blooming, it was a huge surprise.  My first impulse is to say that these are daffodils, but the petals seem thicker than what I envision for daffodils.  If you know what kind of flower it is, telling me would be great.

I'm a "live and let live" gardener, so the fact that these showed up without me doing anything makes me incredibly happy!

One of the hardest things about being on the GAPS diet and also being dairy free is that finding things to eat when sweet cravings hit are difficult.  I've been mostly good (I will admit to one last Breve Latte from Starbucks on Monday--my nod to the coming of Lent), although the siren song of ice cream has been rather loud of late. I'm amazed that I have been able to ignore it's pull to date, but I've also been on the lookout for some sort of substitute. This is why I was so incredibly happy when I found this recipe, as it seems to fulfill my craving for creamy/cold.  The only tweaks were to use honey rather than maple syrup and substituting unsweetened bakers chocolate for the dark chocolate mentioned. This made it fully GAPS legal, but you can't cut the honey in half--you need to make a one to one substitution on the sweetener.

I doubled the recipe and used my food processor to mix it all together (why did I resist getting such a wonderful invention for so long, again???).  It really is incredibly dark and rich for a chocolate mousse--I could probably eat about 1/2 of one of the 4 oz. servings I dished out, and still take care of my cravings. I may see if I can make it a little less chocolatey, the next time I make it, although part of the reason for all the chocolate is to mask the taste of the avocado--it might not be possible. 

Supposedly, the recipe makes 8 servings when doubled--I got 10  4-oz. jars worth.

Who needs a cookbook when you have the internet?

MMMM, Good.  I've found it is best when I cut the chocolate with berries or other fruit. Because it has Avocado, it makes for a healthy breakfast, right? ;-)

Funny/Real

So, I used part of my tax return to replace my dishwasher.  While my old one was standard size, and my new one was too, it ended up being about 1/8 of an inch too tall for the cabinet space.  

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make it fit...

 After quite a bit of hemming and hawing, I realized that most of the issue was the lip on the countertop made by the tile facing.  A trip to Lowes for a chisel, and about 30 minutes later, I was able to fit it into the space just fine.  I kept the tiles, in case I can figure out a way to cut them without breaking them to pieces.  Otherwise, I will probably be replacing my counter-tops sooner rather than later.  I'd really like to get either granite, quartz, or solid surface counter-tops, but don't know if they come in lighter colors that I'd like.  I really don't want dark counters, as it will suck all of the light out of the area.  I've thought some about getting butcher block counters as well, but I'm probably too clumsy for them to stay nice looking.

The finished product. Not pretty, but functional.  I need to figure out a way to make this gap in the tile facing less jarring until I can replace the counters.

I also have to say that I love my new dishwasher.  It is so quiet that you can hardly tell that it is running!  This is such a change, since my old dishwasher made so much noise that you couldn't have a decent conversation anywhere near it.

 Now that it is sandal weather, I'm probably going to transition to more fizzy water and less tea, although it will still be my go-to drink first thing in the morning.  I'm not sure it is normal to have a whole desk drawer dedicated to various types of tea...

This is probably a sign that I should eventually make giving up tea a Lenten discipline...

And, it is very obvious that the main part of the semester has started...My desk is a mess, and it is beginning to annoy me.  I suspect that I will be using part of Friday afternoon to put it to rights so that I can begin using it to its best advantage again.  

Snoopy and purple--this has quickly become my favorite mug, and it makes grading much more enjoyable!

In the mean time, I think I will make myself another cup of tea. :-)

Go look at other Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real posts over at Like Mother, Like Daughter 

The Return of the Alleluia

I love this song from the Shrek soundtrack.  It is the only soundtrack that I bought immediately after seeing the film for the first time--mostly because of this song.  While this song is very somber, there is nothing somber about the Easter season.  Somberness is reserved for lent.

In lent, the flowers on the altar become more understated or disappear altogether; We quit saying Alleluia before the Gospel reading; we omit the Gloria at the beginning of Mass as well.  Worship becomes stark, and it reinforces the idea that now is the time to fast, pray, and do penance.

And then, Easter comes.  Just as with many things in Catholicism, the order of worship reflects the feelings and tone of that part of the liturgical year.  This is why the Easter Vigil has to be my favorite service of the year.  It begins outside the sanctuary by a bonfire as the sun is setting.  Then, the Christ candle is lit from the bonfire while the Story of Christ's death and resurrection are briefly recounted through the Easter Proclamation.  Then, from the Christ candle, candles that each participant holds are lit.  Traditionally, the sanctuary remains dark for the first part of the Mass, except for the candles that the congregants hold.  Then, the Priest, as he is entering the sanctuary, says, loudly, "The light of Christ" and we respond, "Thanks be to God."  This part always brings to mind the verses from Isaiah 9:

The people who walked in darkness

have seen a great light;

Upon those who lived in a land of gloom

a light has shone.

What I love most about the Easter Vigil, though, is the fact that the whole of the salvation story is recounted. There are 7 readings from the Old Testament that are traditionally read (although you usually only hear 4 for the sake of time), as well as a reading from the New Testament and the Gospel narrative of the resurrection.  Then, any adults that are entering the Church receive the sacraments of initiation (Baptism if needed, First Communion, and Confirmation).  I love this part, too, as it reminds me of when I entered the Church. 

On this night, we also sing/say the Gloria and the Alleluia for the first time in 7 weeks, and every time it makes my heart sing.  I find that, as we go from darkness to light, from fasting to feasting, from penance to praise, I am reminded of the verse in the Psalm 30:

For his anger lasts but a moment;

his favor a lifetime.

At dusk weeping comes for the night;

but at dawn there is rejoicing.

 And then, the Easter Season begins.  I love this, too.  For, Easter doesn't end with one day.  It lasts until Pentecost Sunday, and we officially celebrate Easter for 8 weeks.  What a blessing that is--to remember the joy of Christ's resurrection for longer than we were "rending [our] hearts and not [our] garments" (Joel 2:13). 

So, the liturgical year reminds me once again that weeping and rejoicing both have a place in my life.  Sometimes, like in the song above, I rejoice through my tears--and when I do, sometimes that rejoicing is "a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah".  For I often know that God has asked me to give up or has taken away from me those things which keep me from Him. In the process, I become better, more grounded, and ultimately, more like Him. May we grow closer to Jesus as we rejoice in this Easter season, just as we did in the fasting of Lent, and may we never lose sight of how much He did for us!

Finding My Poetry

I found her in the back corner:
Hidden behind the leftover
Rolls of Christmas paper
The extra curtain rods
And my long quilting ruler

I'd begun packing--
Sorting through the detritus
That naturally grows
Pile after careless pile
With every orbit of the sun.

This is why I love Lent:
An excuse to sift and discard
To slough off the mountains
That creep into my heart and my home
From thoughtless placement through disuse.

So, each year, I give, I store,
And I find anew:
Gems hidden with casual malice
In the corners, under piles
And forgotten

What is that box?
The dust billows in
Silent testimony to her
Years of sentry duty
Never moving, never moved

Never relieved of the
Weighty duty
To which she
Joyously volunteered.
She measured time grain

By tortuous grain
Beside tomes of heartfelt musings
Old movie stubs and
Flowers pressed between
Webster's words.

I dust her off
In gentle reverence
And catch up on changes,
Events, and the unending
Rhythm of daily life.

She smiles in amusement:
The slow trickle of time
Has not escaped her.
Though rusticated, she remains
My muse.

The Great Lenten Experiment

So, I've been thinking a lot about what to give up for Lent, and I haven't been able to figure any thing else out.  Most of my go-to stuff is either not an issue this year because I've already pretty much given them up (Starbucks for instance), or because I have to use it for work this time around (Social Media).  So, I've been racking my brain for what to give up for Lent.

Usually, I take something on and give something up--I read a book, add a prayer discipline, etc. in addition to giving something up. It is because of Lent several years ago that I still refrain from listening to music in my car on the way to work: I use that time for prayer instead.  I have also had some drastic failures...One year, I gave up all land animals for Lent.  I was able to make it through lent, but I hate fish.  I ended up eating a lot of tuna and meat-less meals.  I don't think I touched tuna again for close to a year!!!  Since then, I have set my sights on things that are less weighty: it has become a reset time for me.  I give up those things that I know are items that tend to eat up more and more of my time as time goes on--For many years, it was TV, and then it became Facebook/Social Media and Starbucks.  But, I have already cut Starbucks this year, and I am in charge of a contest at work that is using Social Media during the month of March.

Even though I'm feeling the creep of social media,  I can't cut it completely, so that isn't really a good Lenten discipline this year.  So, I think that I'm going to try something that I've always wanted to try...I'm going to make Lent a "Buy Nothing" Month.  Of course, I know that I will still need to buy food and gas, but basically, unless it is a necessity, I'm not going to buy it. My goal will be to stay under $200 for necessities each month for the (almost) two months of lent. Even then, I suspect that I'm not going to need much from the grocery store during Lent--My pantry is fully stocked, and I keep buying things that are already in the pantry because I don't know what is in the way back!

Really, the hardest part is going to be refraining from eating out, as I eat out more than I should--I often don't feel like cooking when I get home.  I think that I'm going to need to be better about cooking on the weekends so that I can eat the leftovers all week long.  I'm also going to need to be better about telling friends no when they mention going to eat after running.  At least I will have the excuse of, "Sorry. I gave it up for lent."

Ash Wednesday is March 5th this year

The real question is what to do with the money that I don't spend...One of the traditional disciplines of Lent is almsgiving, but it would also be nice to pay off more of my debt, so I can't really give it all away.  However, I will be upping my giving from the money that I'm saving.  This is going to be fun and very informative.

The three traditional disciplines of Lent in Preparation for Easter: Fast, give, and pray.

What are you giving up for Lent?  Are you taking anything on?  How do you prepare for Easter?

On Running

Sunrise from my Porch on Jan 31st.

There are very few things that will get me out of bed early enough to see the sunrise from my front porch, and the prospect of running a race is one of them.  It is funny, because I've always had a love/hate relationship with exercise: In college, I knew that I had to trick myself into exercising, or it wouldn't happen. Since that time, as long as it isn't more than 3 flights of stairs, I refuse to take the elevator; I try to park so that I can get more walking in; And I am constantly trying to figure out other ways to add exercise to my life. I needed something that is a better motivator than, "I need to be in better shape and I'd like to lose X pounds."

A picture from the road trip to Sedona.  It is much more fun when you can laugh and talk the miles away!

That's the thing--since I have begun running, I have gained 15 lbs, not lost any.  Mostly, I suspect that it is because I tend to give myself permission to eat more calories than I have burned.  As an inveterate snacker, this is one of my (many) Achilles heels, and I have begun working on fixing this by monitoring my calories again.  I hate calorie counting, but it is the only reliable way that I know of to keep track of how much I'm eating.  I'm thinking that banning between meal snacks will be a good Lenten discipline for me this year.  I'm also working on cutting out how many times I go to Starbucks, but that is ongoing.

All of us before the race.  I don't know who of us crossed the finish line first, but I was the last to finish.

I don't know that I've ever had a runner's high, either.  At the same time, running is its own motivation for me in ways that other exercise isn't--it clears my mind and I just feel incredibly refreshed after a 3-6 mile run.  It is like the little bit of speed that I can muster blows away the mental cobwebs and I begin to think more clearly about those things that I have been gnawing on.  It must be all of those glorious endorphins that one secretes while running.  My scientific friends would say that this happens with all exercise, but it sure doesn't feel like it!

Just past the half-way point.  Still feeling pretty good at this point!

All of us after the race. My chip time was 3:20:37. I'm hoping to shave at least 10 minutes off of that for the El Paso half.

So, after my adventure in Sedona, I am 1 half-marathon down for the year with at least 5 more scheduled for the year.  I likely won't see another sunrise again until I get up for another race, but that's ok.  I get to sleep a little bit later, and then spend evenings with family and friends.  As a night owl, the fact that  I live close to a trail that I can run safely in the dark is one of the best things about where I currently live.  Having friends who run with me, even if I am the turtle of the group is just cake.  It still blows my mind that it is no longer a chore to run more than 3 miles at a time, but that longer runs feel normal.

My friend Karin on our early morning hike the next morning before we started for home.  Another glorious sunrise!

Maybe someday, other forms of exercise will feel as wonderful as going for a run does.  If not, then at least I have learned to like one exercise enough to embrace the sport and make it a part of my lifestyle.  It only takes one, right?

Attachments, Wonder, and Presence

“For if a man resolve to submit himself to carrying this cross — that is to say, if he resolve to desire in truth to meet trials and to bear them in all things for God’s sake, he will find in them all great relief and sweetness wherewith he may travel upon this road, detached from all things and desiring nothing. Yet, if he desire to possess anything — whether it comes from God or from any other source — with any feeling of attachment, he has not stripped and denied himself in all things; and thus he will be unable to walk along this narrow path or to climb upward by it”

--St. John of the Cross, Ascent of Mount Carmel, book 2, chap. 7, 7

 Yesterday, I went with my sister, mom, my sister's mother-in-law, and a couple of nieces to see Our Town, and there were 2 scenes in the play that are related to the transitory nature of life...the first is, "you have to love life to have life, and you have to have life to love life."  Right before this, the Stage Manager talks about how the two moms have cooked close to 50,000 meals between them in their marriages.  In some ways, it is like he is implying that, because they have just skated through the day to day of their lives, they haven't really lived.  The thing is that this quote in question is embedded in the scene where the two moms talk about traveling to Paris, and they are talking about how Mrs. Gibbs wants to see something beautiful and exotic at least once in her life.  At the end of the play, we find that Mrs. Gibbs never gets to see Paris, but it just points to the fact that we often let the day-to-day of our lives get in the way of truly living life.

I know that, for me personally, going through the process of my divorce opened up some possibilities that I never would have thought about beforehand, as well as allowed me to pursue some opportunities that were formerly closed.  While I was married, I remember often straining against the constraints that my marriage brought--I gave up personal goals for the good of the marriage more than once, and lost other goals and opportunities because of the spottiness of my ex's work history/lack of follow through during our marriage.  While some of this is natural and right in a marriage, life can be a monochromatic monotony if one gives up too many of those goals and dreams.  A corollary to the above quote is that, when you lose the love of life, you lose life.  So now, I sometimes feel like I'm just waking up to all of the possibilities before me...It is overwhelming, scary, exhilarating, and exciting all at the same time.  I hope that I don't squander this opportunity like Mrs. Gibbs and Mrs. Webb.

The other scene in the play is from the last act, when Emily's spirit and the Stage Manager are having a conversation about what it means to be alive and what it means to be dead:

Emily: Wait! One more look. Good-bye , Good-bye world. Good-bye, Grover's Corners....Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking....and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot baths....and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth,you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every,every minute?
Stage Manager: No. (pause) The saints and poets, maybe they do some.

 (italics emphasis is mine)

I think that this particular scene carries with it a sense of being present--we often are busy doing other things, like texting or emailing rather than living in the moment that we are in. In the process, we lose some of that realization of life.  The funny thing is that this play was set in the early decades of the 20th century, when phones and cars were not ubiquitous.  I believe that what was true back then is even more true now! I admit to being guilty of a lack of presence, as I always have my email with me on my smart phone, and often have my iPad with me as well.  I must admit that this is one of the things I am looking forward to most about my walk on the Camino--I'm going to spend most of my time totally unplugged from technology.  I think that I'm going to need to learn how to live without the electronic tether again.  I know that we used to do this all the time, but most of us can't imagine living without our cell phones anymore.

And, I think that is what St. John of the Cross is getting at too--we need to be willing to be present with the situations God gives us, no matter whether it is a good or a bad situation.  When we can do that, understand that the situation is passing, and not grasp tightly to it, then we can use the situation to grow closer to the Lord.  When I clutch anything, good or bad, I have removed the ability for God to give me anything--my hands are clenched around what I already have.  This looks like bitterness, when it is a bad thing I have clenched my fist around.  It looks like wistfulness, nostalgia, and pining after the "good old days" when I have clenched my fist around a good thing.  Neither help me to become the person that the Lord wants me to become, though.  When I can open up my hands and let go, I then have room in my hands and my heart for the Lord to move in, and to fill me with Himself.

This is why I love reconciliation so much--it is a way to help me to let go of the sins in my life, the bad situations, and to un-clench my hand from around them.  This is also why I love lent, for all my moaning and groaning about eating fish on Fridays--it is a way for me to evaluate the good things in my life and to learn to hold them with an open hand as well.

I want to be among the poets and the saints Thornton Wilder talks about--one of the people who really realize the wonder and the weightiness of our life here on earth.  Won't you join me on the journey?

Encounters

This weekend, I have to say that I have been struck by my own selfishness....maybe it is the fact that I haven't been feeling well, but once again, I'm seeing that I am by no means near the place where St. Paul was when he said, "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I that live, but Christ living in me..." I have noticed that I am often content to let others do things for me rather than to do the work myself, which means that I'm not a very good roommate.  That could be, at least in part, why my marriage fell apart, so I really need to work on this.

Sunday, as I was in mass, it struck me that all of the readings related to our responses to encounters with God...Isaiah sees God as he is conducting worship, Paul talks about his Damascus road experience, and Peter sees the first glimpses of Jesus' divinity in the miracle of being able to fill his boat AND his partners' boat after a night of catching nothing.

This is one of my favorite paintings by Dali--see the boat at the bottom of the picture?

The thing I find most interesting about the readings/encounters is that they all come away with a better understanding of their own sinfulness...Grace is also imparted, but only after they come face to face with the fact that they are sinful men.  Like the 12-steppers say, "admitting that you have a problem is the first step toward recovery."  From the lives of saints that I have either read or watched, I've noticed that most of them have a point where they become aware of their own sinfulness.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm a saint, or even that I'm saint material any more than any of us are saint material...Actually I would argue that I'm pretty far from sainthood at this point!  Nor am I saying that I have had some pivotal experience like St. Paul, St. Peter, or the Prophet Isaiah.  But I'm seeing more and more how much I sin in the little things--in selfishness; in cussing because of anger and frustration; in playing my day away at work; in bad attitudes and in plain old laziness.  In this respect, I think that those of you who have children have one up on me--because I am only responsible for me, it is very easy to fall into a self-centered mindset. This is much harder to do when you have little ones that depend on you for things like food and other necessities.  Having pets helps some, but I suspect that this will be the greatest struggle I have as long as I live as a single person--remembering that it isn't all about me!

I think that is probably the greatest reason that I am attracted to religious life--when you live in community, you can't live only for yourself and be successful.  That is also why every order lives by a rule of some sort--it greases the space between members so that you can successfully forge a life together and grow closer to Christ in the process (and it knocks off the rough edges as well!).  And, it is also probably the reason why I will never make a good sister, just like I didn't make a good wife:  I am very headstrong on top of everything else!

But, that is also what Lent is about, isn't it?  The Church, in Her wisdom, has set aside a time every year for us to reflect on our attachment to this world, and in the process, remind us that we really need to be attached to Jesus and not anything else.  Like John the Baptist, we must say, "He must increase, and I must decrease."  I'm not there yet, but hopefully, a year from now, I can be a little bit closer, even if only by a centimeter.

Addictions

My ex used to say that I was "addicted" to Starbucks, and that I should quit going there.  I didn't pay attention to him because I was using my own spending money, and I still really like their Chai tea lattes, but as Lent is getting ready to start in less than a week, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be addicted to something, or, in the parlance of the Church, have disordered attachments to temporal things.

Proof positive that I'm number one....for that race, anyway!

I mean, there are a lot of things that I either crave from time to time or that I know I do not function well without...Exercising for instance.  Is the fact that I don't deal well with the normal stress of my life if I don't somehow fit in at least 2-3 runs in a week into my schedule an addiction?  And, if so, could I find better stress relievers out there?  I don't think so, and honestly, I really don't want to go back to my couch potato self.  I like the fact that I have more energy and that I look good because I've been exercising.  I also like the fact that a 5 mile run works on my mood way better than any antidepressant ever did.

While I do worry about the way my increasingly slimmer body feeds into my vanity, I also laugh at myself regularly as I dry myself off in the mornings....I catch myself sucking in my tummy and thinking that it would be nice if I had my 22 year old body again, only to have the song "you're so vain" begin to play in the back of my mind.  At the same time, I also know that I don't really want that body back, because that body couldn't run 1 mile, let alone 5 miles, on a regular basis, in spite of the fact that it was 30 lbs lighter and more perky.

Another would be the copious amounts of tea that I consume on a daily basis at work....I probably drink 3-4 16 oz. cups in a day, with more honey than is strictly good for me.  Earlier this week, I joked with a co-worker that I like my tea like I like my men--hot, strong, and sweet!  I'm not really looking for the latter, and doubt that I ever will, but I couldn't resist the joke.  Sometimes I get headaches on the weekends because I don't drink as much tea at home, and I know that is actually a symptom of being addicted to the caffeine.  At the same time, I'm not sure that I can reduce the amount of tea I drink unless I can find a viable alternative...one that helps me to continue to concentrate on what I'm doing as well as to keep me hydrated as the day progresses.  I've actually had some success with using NUUN tablets, but keep forgetting to bring them to work with me.

Me about 1.5 years ago...before I began exercising regularly.

And then there is my reading....this is another thing that my ex used to say I was addicted to, as I would often read until all hours of the night when I was in the middle of a good book.  Even though part of me knows that the book will be there when I come back, it is SOOOO hard to put it down when the end of the chapter comes.  I find that I often desperately want to know what happens next!  So, I guess you could say that I'm a sucker for a good book.

I think this is where the virtue of Temperance comes in....a friend of mine from a forum that I belong to said this:

Ive just read a wonderful piece about temperance saying that many people forget there is a flip side of it - we focus a lot on the "cutting down" part without remembering that temperance is about "balance" and its just as important to indulge in fun/relaxation/food we enjoy, etc. That when we over focus on taking things away, we might be slipping into a life without joy, and that part of Christian living is living joyfully, and being balanced. I just really liked that.

I like this too.  Coming from a background where we refrained from so many things (I think the saying from childhood said something to the effect of, "I don't drink, don't dance, don't smoke, don't chew, nor go out with those who do.), I often wonder if having a hard cider with dinner on a regular basis is the first step toward alcoholism.  I feel a twinge of guilt about going to a bar with friends from work.  I struggle with figuring out whether skipping daily Mass to go running  or sleeping an extra hour after a late night reading is a good use of my time.

Part of my quest for balance means that I always do 2 things for Lent--I give up something, and then I take something on.  I'm pretty sure that my "giving up" will be Starbucks  and maybe Facebook this year (with one exception--I am meeting a friend for coffee on the 16th of this month), but I just don't know what to add on.  I was thinking about getting back into the habit of daily Mass on weekdays, but that means running in the evenings.  I don't mind running in the dark, but I often have a hard time motivating myself after a long day at work....even when my dig-dog looks at me with her soulful eyes while rattling her leash!

So, what are you going to do for lent?  Will you be giving up, taking on, or a little bit of both?  How do you achieve the balance that Temperance requires?

Blessings,

Ruth